Everything I Do Have

Everything I Do Have

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And so starts the third twelve hour shift weekend since I came home from Bucharest.

 

In these last few days I’ve been writing about getting out on a new adventure.

 

From experience I knew stating it out loud would bring with it some challenges, and I’ve already started feeling them. I’m mostly talking about thoughts and moments that in short makes up the term ‘shining things on the side of the road’.

 

I have an eternal conflict in me whether to live like I do to get to my next adventure faster, or go to Trondheim to start a more regular life with a job, apartment, car, gym membership and cappuccinos.

 

At the moment I actually have a gym membership, and I’m liking it very much, thank you. I haven’t inquired about the cappuccinos in my beloved little hometown, but I’m more than fine with black coffee and milk.

 

But even as I write this I know I will hold on to my adventure dream a little longer, it just helps to get it out on ‘paper’. You are getting a direct feed into my brain as we speak.

 

As I write this I feel complete, and writing this out makes me remember to look at everything I DO have.

 

Everything is a question of habits, even your thinking. A few moments before I started writing I caught myself doing something really bad, something that I’ve been doing for such a long time.

 

I caught myself in the habit of thinking about everything that I DON’T have. In these past days now it’s been very apparent, and making me feel less than good, but it wasn’t until now that I realised.

 

Then when I caught myself, I thought,

 

‘But look at all this beauty around me.

 

I’ve just woken up, but still I felt like making a fire in the oven.

 

Then, instead of getting out and driving to town, I felt like sitting down to eat these crackers that’s been sitting there forever, and make myself a morning tea with the water I boiled on the oven last night.

 

I even felt like lighting all the candles, even when there’s still light outside, because I’m on a ROLL, man, WE’RE GOING BIG, NOW! And I don’t even need a reason to light candles, man.

 

And then I felt like meditating before reading my favorite book, but then now I feel so good that I feel like writing all of this down. ‘

 

And so we’ve come around to the present moment.

 

I’m still sipping my tea, my favorite book waits patiently for me. But now I feel like what I sat down for has been accomplished, and I am ready to leave for the gym, and work.

 

Thank you for your attention, and I hope you come back.

 

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